NEVER CHOOSE CAREERS FOR YOUR CHILDREN

Back in the days, most Nigerian parents were fond of imposing careers on their children. It made them feel good telling their friends at work and at social gatherings that 'my son is studying in the university to become a doctor' or 'my daughter is studying to become an engineer'. It was an ego thing.

As a result of this, many children were forced to study 'good' courses that they did not like. Some children would study the course that were imposed on them by their parents and after graduation, they would come and present their certificate to their parents and say, '' Daddy and mummy, take this chemical engineering certificate but I would love to be a dancer''.

Some children had careers imposed on them because their parents wanted them to carry on the family business of say, quantity surveying whereas, the child wants to be a nurse.

When I was in the secondary school, there was a guidance counselor who was not doing her job. If she was, she would have known that she would tell my parents that I excelled best in literature in English and that in fact, that was my best subject and that I should be allowed to study theater arts or music or communication arts or mass communication or journalism or English or Literature in English or any other course in this category that would boost my creative and artistic skills which were more prominent than the accounting skills that I eventually studied.

Nigerian parents would say, ''What do you want to do with that one? Why don't you study economics, accounting, banking and finance or business administration? You will get a job quickly.''

Well, parents of today, I want to tell you that times have changed! If your child(ren) want to study dance, music, acting, social media marketing, designing and other new computer related professions arising everyday, let them! Your duty is to support and look out for them. 

The world in which we are today has more variety of careers and opportunities. Dancers and musicians can now hold their heads up high in the society because they are now respected. Now, some graduates package garri, elubo and other food stuff for sale within and outside Nigeria.

Sometimes, these graduates do these seemingly odd jobs because they have the passion for it and not because they failed to find a job. For example, I resigned from my job as head of audit to pursue my careers in music and writing because these are the careers I have always loved to do since I was a child.

How do you know what career your child will like to do in the future?

You have to ask them and they will tell you. I have said earlier, your duty as a parent is to support and guide your children. You will know the career path of your children by studying them from childhood. 

If my parents had studied me carefully, they would have known that as a child, I loved dancing, singing, listening to music and writing. I started to keep a journal and owned a radio since I was in JSS 2. 

Once, my mother owned a radio. The radio came along with a  picture frame. One day, the frame fell from the wall whilst she was arranging her room and broke into pieces but the radio was still working. She wanted to throw it away because she had another radio and I begged her to give  it to me. 

After using the radio for a while, it stopped working and could no longer be repaired. I asked my dad to buy me another radio and he bought me a red radio. After that got depreciated and no longer repairable, I asked my uncle to buy me a Walkman. He bought me a Sony Walkman which had great earphones, mobile speakers, tape recorder and radio. The speakers were fantastic!

Alongside my father's big radio and his turntable player, I started to horn my skills as a DJ. I also played live drums (playing drums on the table with my hands) to give some effect. Observant parents would have known that I was cut out to be an entertainer. 

My first son wants to be a professional basketball player, theater artist and a business man. He is in his school's basketball team. I see that he has the passion for the game. He is tall. He watches it on TV. He does not like football but can watch basketball games from morning till night. He loves to watch movies and he takes part in acting in school and in the church.

When I want to dispose off old stuff in the house like hangers, old clothes, etc, he will pack the hangers and go and sell them to dry cleaners, sell the old clothes and shoes to paro and use the money he gets from the sales to buy a new item for himself.

He says he knows that he cannot play basketball past fifty years of age, so he will need to support himself with other careers. I see the traits of what he says he wants to become in him. I believe him. I support him. I thank God for giving me a wise, intelligent and hardworking child. By God's grace, I already have plans for his future. 

The same goes for my second son who wants to be a chef. He loves to accompany me to the market. He will assist me in cooking, grilling and baking in the kitchen. My duty is to support him and not try to change his mind by saying that the kitchen is for women. The best chefs in the world are men.

Some children are at a loss of what to do in the future. They want to do a particular course because of money. My parents' former house help's first child came to spend sometime with my parents. She said she was in the commercial class in secondary school and that she wants to be an accountant. This is a girl who cannot calculate money properly. When sent on errands, she usually brings home the wrong change. She is very poor with numbers. 

I told her mother to go and study her because she is going to be a poor accountant if she embarks on that path. Her mother says she likes to read story books, dance and sing. So, I said, theater arts is the course for you. Do not bother to sit for that JAMB. Wait till next year. Get enrolled in the art class and sit for JAMB next year. She agreed.

Some parents force their children to science classes when these children should be in art classes. Stop it! it is also for your own peace of mind. You will reap the benefits because they will quickly achieve their destiny than wasting time studying what they hate and later changing to what they love. They will attain wealth on time and will quickly be able to take care of you in your middle and old age.

School owners should also ensure that the guidance councilors do their jobs by guiding students from JSS 3 till they graduate from secondary school.

My career journey would have been smoother if I had started in my present careers. Save yourself and your children headache. Let them choose their careers by themselves.

The infographic below can also help in your discussions with your children.

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