IRAWO: My Quest for Freedom 14 (Conclusion)

Pursuing a music career in Nigeria is not an easy task especially where one does not have the support of one’s family and the funds required to go big. 

Another problem is gender; if you are a woman. I see that it is a male dominated industry but I have made up my mind to keep at it and success will be mine.

Another problem is the genre of music. If one is not doing Naija pop, it believed that the artist is not yet serious. The likes of Asa and Bez have proved that school of thought to be wrong. So, I am sticking my style of music. Whoever does not like it should go and jump inside the Lagos lagoon!

In 2007, when I called my parents to inform them of my music scholarship at PEFTI, they were indifferent. Their major concern was that I should get a job quickly. It was the same reaction that I got when I called my mother to inform her that I graduated with a distinction in music. She said,
“What are you going to do with that one? Anyway, it could be useful in the church. Try and get a job quickly!”

My parents liked the fact that I am talented and I participate in musical activities, but as far as they was concerned, it should remain a hobby. A career like accounting was more serious and prestigious.

When I joined the Boys Brigade band in 1995, shortly after graduating from secondary school, instead of taking a taxi ride to the church every Saturday afternoon for my Boys’ Brigade practice, I would pass through the short cut by his house and he would hang around and try to speak to me. I was not interested in dating him but I was glad that I caught someone’s attention. He was one of many guys like who tried to date me back then. Dating was the last thing on my mind at that time.

We did not marry until 2002 although we had been friends since 1995 and dated for a year. The children came, three in number, all boys, in 2002, 2007 and 2011. Initially, I performed only on weekends but as time went by, it became a herculean task. I sacrificed my job to be with my children so I could still have time to compose and perform. I could not cope with the house work and taking care of them at the same time. Whilst my last born was still a baby, I would do a few performances but it was not easy at all. 

My husband knew that I was a drummer before he married me but his attitude towards my music career changed when I told him that I wanted to do full time music. He said he thought that it was a hobby. He had bought me the movie, Drumline, starring, Nick Cannon, on his way home from work. Then, I believed that he supported my talent but later on, I found out that he was just trying to please me. He loved the fact that I was an accountant. Accountancy was a more prestigious career. Music, to him, was a waste of time. He also believed that musicians are promiscuous. Remember that I told you about my boss who was toasting me at work. Promiscuity happens everywhere, in all careers. He has forgotten that I studied music on scholarship and graduated with a distinction. To him as well, this music would pass; it was a hobby.

At first, I danced to everyone’s tune, asking me to obey my husband and forget about music; get a job and earn a steady monthly salary. After a while, I called everybody’s bluff. This is what I have been doing before I met him. If he does not love me for whom I am, then he did not love me in the first place! He loved the accountant that I would become. He loved the prestige that came with being the husband of an accountant. Aren’t celebrities respected too?!

There were other issues such as lack of trust; suspecting that I am having an affair with my clients.Well, he decided to walk out of our marriage after 14 years of marriage because he knew he could no longer manipulate me, violate me or suppress my points of view.

In 2012, I went to business school and learnt everything I can about music entrepreneurship (I am still learning).

I have also attended various music business workshops and I network every now and then. I have also embarked on my music album project and I believe I will go places. This is my dream and I will achieve it. I will not quit.

After he left me, I became very, very sick. My family feared death. I was suffering from chronic depression. I was rushed to LASUTH and when I was not recovering, my parents rushed me to the Neuro-Psychiatric hospital at Aro, Abeokuta. This is their area of specialization. I started to recover quickly, not only because of the new and additional drugs but because I made up my mind to forget him. he was now part of my past. I wanted to move into my future; alone.

At the beginning of my illness, I could not read, speak and walk properly. I could not sing or even drum. I thought I was going to die. My husband never called or visited. This is a man I married and supported when he had no dime. I knew the end had come for us. It has finally come.

I may not be where I ought to be now but I am gradually getting there. It seems like starting all over again but I will remain persistent. 

My doctors have told my parents that music and writing are the careers I should pursue. This is because I need to do things that will make me happy; activities that will keep me going and make me look at the brighter side of life. My parents have began to support me. My mum says that I am going to be the best DJ in Nigeria. It does not matter if Jimmy Jatt is still practicing. I believe it.

Now, I can do all the things I could not do for a long time. I can finally jump up and shout because my shackles are broken. I can praise Him and dance!

The title of my debut album is My Freedom! I am finally free from oppression, sickness, sadness, restrictions and death.

The End