IRAWO – My Quest for Freedom - 1

I was not born with a silver spoon but I enjoyed the privilege of having the basic things of life; good food, clothes, shelter, education and leisure. 

Leisure times were spent with my family at birthdays and reunion parties, Bar and Badagry beaches, Federal Palace hotel, the Amusement park and Animal Game events. 

What I lacked was communication and a warm bear hug. Communication came only from above. My feedback was unnecessary. Expressing my opinion was labeled uncultured and rude particularly because I had to lay good examples for my siblings, being the first child. As for the hug, forget it! It was not in our culture to hug. Only the cane hugged me.

I was always compared to other parents' 'good children'. 

'Why can't you be like omo lágbájá? See Seyi! She is training to be a doctor. Bisola’s mother says that Bisola is training to be an accountant. Tunde, my friend’s son has travelled abroad to study engineering.............’

It did not matter that I had just made a mix tape with my father’s turntable with the help of his tape recorder. It did not matter that I was a snare drummer in our church’s Brigade band. It did not matter that I was always in the schools’ music and choral activities from nursery to secondary school. 

It did not matter that I won dance competitions at birthday parties and Animal game competitions. My opinion did not count. It seemed that being the first born was a burden. The world was on my shoulders. I just had to do everything right otherwise, I was a disgrace to the family.

I was a fun loving child; intelligent, adventurous, brave, creative, sporty and outspoken.  I stood up for my rights and that of anybody around me that could not stand up for his or her self just because it happened that I was nearby. Some of my friends used to call me Voltron, defender of the universe. 

Now, I mind my own business but try to bring awareness to ills in the society like domestic violence, rape and pedophiles. 

My future ambition was either to be an athlete or a basketball player, or a DJ/drummer or dancer or to be in the music or sport department of the military as a policewoman, naval officer or a general in the army. 

Nobody ever asked me what I wanted to become in life. I needed advice to help me focus and work towards the direction of my strongest talent which at this time, I was not sure whether it was in music or sports. I just found myself studying accounting up to professional level. 

In whatever situation I find myself, my aim is to succeed. Later on, I succeeded in my career as an internal auditor. I left at the peak of my career. Why? I was bored and dissatisfied! I always felt that there was something missing in my life. I needed to explore that feeling. I needed to break free.

Besides being bored, I do not like waking up early to go to work and I also hated Lagos traffic.Many mornings, by the time I got to work, I was already tired and wish I could take a nap.

Like I said before, being in the military was on my list of possible careers. I looked forward to playing in the music band of any of these military establishments and also looked forward to the adventures and possibility of fighting in a war situation. I had watched so many war films and I was fearless. In my head, I was victorious.

With the season of the boko haram insurgence, the military is no longer looking attractive to me especially now that I have children to look after. In my mind, I am glad that I did not join the military.

As a teenager, I had fun but not as much as I would have wanted because I was curbed by my strict parents. It was a good thing but I just felt caged. I felt that they were over doing the monitoring thing. 

Now that I am a parent, I understand that they were just protecting me from the danger of this world which are too numerous to count.

I could not have indulged in vandalism, waywardness and other social vices that the youths are known for whilst I was in boarding school, polytechnic and university, but I did not. For example, I have never smoked in my life even though some of my close friends did. Sniffing hard drugs was even far from it. I loved to have fun but I knew my limits.

I had very few friends because my acquaintances could not stand my honesty and bluntness. They did not understand how a party girl could also be an efiko and have integrity. Lying and fooling around was just a game to them but whenever they had an argument, they would come to me to settle an issue because they felt I would give an objective opinion. 

This is probably the reason I became an internal auditor. With maturity, I have learnt to pass across my piece of mind with diplomacy because no man is an island. I still need friends around me however imperfect they are. I am also an imperfect being.

To continued.